As Darrell Scott shared with us the tragic story of his daughter Rachel’s untimely death, I couldn’t help but think, “What a waste!” I’m the father of two daughters, and was wondering how he is able to relive her story over and over again, without it tearing him to pieces. I also wondered what might have been for Rachel. What would Rachel look like today? If she married, who would be her husband? How many kids would they have? How much of an impact could she have had in her high school if her life hadn’t been taken that early April afternoon?
It was in the middle of these thoughts, that I caught myself. I caught myself thinking about God in ways that, frankly, I really don’t believe. I caught myself in the midst of asking these questions, realizing that there were some unanswerable questions with this tragedy, like all tragedies. But I also realized that in the midst of something so terrible, God was, and is still at work.
Do I think God willed the death of Rachel Joy Scott? No, I don’t. Do I think that God needed another flower in his heavenly garden, so he called Rachel on that day so heaven would be more beautiful? Please. Do I think he helped Dylan and Eric choose their victims that day, ordaining the death of those 12 students and teacher? No. Do I believe that this event surprised God? No, I don’t believe that either.
Here is what I do believe. I believe that God was present in Columbine High School on April 20, giving Rachel and others the courage to face whatever came their way on that day. I believe that God wept with the parents, family, and friends of the victims. He longs for the day when “all things will be made new,” and when there will be “no more tears, pain, sorrow, or death.” I believe that God redeemed, yes, even that! And I believe that the same God who was present with them, is present with us.
But why do these things happen? That’s a question way older than any of us, but I like what C.S. Lewis said while struggling with a similar question: “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t.”
These tests that come are to reveal to us who we are, not who God is. Lewis goes on to say: “He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way to making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” In that, we come to understand that “In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose,” making us who He wants to be because of, or even in spite of them. This is the way we live.
Eugene Peterson says it this way in his paraphrase of James 1:2-4: “Consider it sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”
So, what is being revealed about who you are? How are you responding to what you are being shown? To coin a phrase from this semester, “How’s your practice?” My prayer for us now, as it has been this whole semester, is that we continue to practice well, so with God’s help, we can live well.
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